There Are No Words To Console.....

Authors Note: I wrote this on Saturday morning December 15, 2012 after sitting up most of the night thinking about what had happened in Newtown, CT the day before. Sitting in my den I could hear my children playing and the thoughts I had just crytallized and came out. Sometimes there is a story, or words in your soul that have to come out. I shared what is below with friends and family and many encouraged me to share them more broadly so here they are.

There Are No Words To Console…… On the night Martin Luther King, Jr was shot and killed Senator Robert F Kennedy had a scheduled campaign rally in downtown Indianapolis among a crowd of blacks and whites. Despite a lot of advice to the contrary he still took to the stage.

He told them the news that many of them had not yet heard. Then he offered words to unite them, to remind them of a shared human condition and words to console.

  “Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago; to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that and say a prayer for our country and for our people.”

That night, while other cities were burning, the people of Indianapolis went home and prayed for Dr. King, for their country and for themselves. There was no violence. Senator Kennedy eased the pain of a tragic night. A little over two months later Senator Kennedy would be dead by assassin’s bullets.



After watching the horrifying events in Newtown, CT, I like every parent and every person was driven to find some sense. The people of Newtown must know that there are many that they do not know, many they will never know and never meet who are with them. We pray, we cry, we feel anger, we feel regret, we rage against what Dylan Thomas called “The dying of the light”.

I live a couple hundred miles from Newtown. I do not know anyone there. I do not know any of the victims or their families.

Yet I cried.

Friday afternoon I watched the President of the United States weep openly, powerless to defend these children. His words were beautiful, the words of a good and decent man, speaking some of the very same words that so many of us felt. But he was not a President, he was like so many just a father and a man.

There were no words to console…..

Last night I could not sleep for a long, long time. Awake in the darkness I thought of parents in their homes with the huge void of a child who would not return. Though the bullets of destruction never touched them, the gunman’s shots tore holes through the parents’ hearts.

While I was awake in my home, I knew that my own young children were safe. But my mind thought of those parents, and my heart ached for them. Their child was not home, they would never again hear the laughter, the voices, the words “I love you Mommy” or “I Love you Daddy” from their little beautiful child.

In those houses are now-empty rooms staring at those parents, a visual reminder of what was lost. Still worse a mother who could not yet hold her child, to face the truth and mourn the loss and weep the tears a mother should be able to weep over the body of a lost child.

Their child was still in that school, still in the very same spot where those little ones were forced to look into the very face of evil with no parent to protect them, going to God in the most horrifying of manners.

There are children who lost a parent in that school. A mother of five who will not walk through the door at the end of the school day any more to offer hugs and kisses to her children.

These adults went fighting, fighting to protect children from the forces of evil. They did what they could and for that the Lord will offer them sanctuary in heaven. Yet for their families all over Newtown, CT there is loss and there is unspeakable pain.

There are no words to console….

I am a man who has faith in the God I pray to. But even those with faith much stronger than mine have had their foundations rocked by what happened.

This was satan among us and where was God to defend these children? Was not this man made in God’s image? Yet how did he become an instrument of all this? In what dark recess of his mind did this hatred reside and what dam broke that allowed it to pour forth and flood the lives of so many with pain?

Why did these children have to go before the evil doer with no one at their side to calm them in their last moments? Why God, why God did they have to see this, did they have to face the fear?

Like so many others I want to shake my fist at God. I am angry, I am shaken, I am lost searching for some reason. The Jewish scholar Abraham Heschel once said “We talk about Providence when things in the world work out the way we know they should.” This is not how things in the world are supposed to work out. There is not supposed to be the massacre of innocence and the innocent.

I dare not demand an answer from my God, but I am powerless to control the involuntary impulses of my mind’s thoughts as I see the work of man among us. We are all human, saddled with the baggage of our human frailty. For that we need not apologize to God.

Lincoln said of prayer “I’ve been driven to my knees many times by the overwhelming conviction that I have no place else to go.” In the face of this horror, we have no place else to go.

We are bound by the common hopes for our children. The destruction of one child, and one family’s dreams takes a piece from all of us. If these are my thoughts, a man with no direct connection to these events, how must the people in Newtown feel?

There are no words to console…..

This morning I thought of the first responders, the men and women working through the night to investigate this tragedy. They had to walk into that school and rooms to piece together what happened. What a horrific sight they must have seen.

It is something that even, no doubt, the most hardened and veteran person could not comprehend. They will never ever forget what they have seen. For that my heart aches for the reality they had to witness. They bore witness to and the scars from the handiwork of the evil one. They will need help, they will need to heal.

There are no words to console…..

There were children who survived. Their parents rejoiced in the good news that their children returned home and would sleep safely in their beds. But both those parents and their children face a reality forever altered by the acts of one man.

While their children are home these parents must walk amongst many others bearing the grief of irrevocable loss. There will be moments of guilt in rejoicing one’s salvation while seeing the pain of others so close to your home.

There is an awful truth that these parents of the children who got out alive will face. Their children are home, but they will be forever changed. They heard the gunshots, they heard the screams, they knew the children and adults who will never walk among them again.

There will be tears and nightmares, there will be wounds that can never be completely healed. The parents of these children will suffer knowing they can never completely take away that pain.

There are no words to console….

In ten days there will be Christmas. In many of these homes there are already presents for lost children that they will never open. What might have been? Parents may have picked the perfect present that their young kindergarten child had always wanted, knowing they would hear a squeal of joy, or see a wide smile, their child excitedly jumping up and down.

Parents relish a moment like that, but for them that moment will not come again. That present sits like a ticking bomb to be discovered in the Christmas gift hiding place only to explode through the soul of a mother or father who realize the smile just days hence will never happen.

I learned from someone once that “When you become a parent your happiness is defined by your least happy child.”

Those words haunt me today as I reflect on the community of Newtown. The happiness of the children who died and those who survived has been taken. Those parents have wounds too new to have even scarred yet. But they will remain.

My father lost a four-year old brother to illness. Nearly eighty years after that loss I asked him about it. He remembered his mother weeping and wailing, her inconsolable grief.

“I don’t think she ever did get over that.” He said.

“Dad, I don’t know that a parent ever can completely.” I said.

He agreed and we walked on.

Right now is not time to argue the future, it is not time for the pro-gun, and gun-safety lobby to be on television. Their arguments and their petty squabbles seem small and even offensive in these days immediately after this tragedy. Allow the familes and the community to grieve and honor those lost.

For whatever reason and for whatever the cause, we as a country seem to have a penchant for gun violence that sooner or later we have to face and overcome. The Talmud teaches that “Some are guilty but all are responsible.” That is the undeniable truth we face.

Scripture tells us “The day is long and the work is great and we're not commanded to finish the work, but neither are we allowed to desist from it.” We must not allow ourselves to desist from the work towards a less violent future, one that won’t come from laws, or lobbying, slogans or television ads.

It will come when we as Bobby Kennedy said “tame the savageness of man, and make gentle the life of this world.” Only when we have made gentle the pain of this country and the ways of our world, then may we find the words to console.

Statement on Nomination For Trustee Ballot

Last week I was informed by the director of the Penn State Board of Trustees Office that my name had been submitted as a Trustee candidate for Penn State’s Board. Although I have never declared a candidacy for the board, I received the required number of nominating votes to be placed on the ballot.

I would like to thank all the people who nominated me to serve Penn State, our students and alumni. Serving on Penn State’s Board is a most solemn responsibility. That many of you felt I would be worthy to play such a prominent role in Penn State’s future governance is an honor.

However, my recent employment at Penn State makes me ineligible to serve at this time. By-law Article 2 Paragraph 3 prevents anyone from serving for a period of three years after their last employment at the university.


ART. 2. QUALIFICATIONS FOR MEMBERSHIP ON THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES

(3) A person shall not be eligible to serve as a member of the Board of Trustees for a period of three (3)years from the July 1 coincident with or next following the date of last employment in any capacity by the University. This qualification for membership shall not apply to a person who is an ex officio member of the Board, nor to a person who is a student employed part-time by the University.


Although I can neither run nor serve, I look forward to staying engaged with Penn State. The nomination process continues now through February 25th. We encourage all Penn Staters to get involved in Penn State’s governance and in the Trustee election process. It is a vital role for alumni of this great institution and only by participation can we Make an Impact on our most beloved Alma Mater.

Closing Statement...for now

Statement for Today:

After talking with Coach Bill O’Brien we have reached the conclusion that I will not be a part of the Penn State football staff moving forward.

I will spend the next few weeks consulting with my wife and family to weigh various future options both inside and outside of football.

I thank the student-athletes that I’ve been privileged to coach over the past two decades at four schools. Hopefully my career has had an impact and helped you learn about life, and about the commitment and passion it takes to pursue personal excellence.

As for Penn Staters, I cannot even begin to express what your support has meant to me and my family over the past seventeen seasons and in particular the past two months. Through the tumult of the past several weeks, it has been your stalwart support combined with life lessons learned from Joe Paterno that has and continue to sustain us.

As a Penn Stater I am reminded of the words “Sing Our Love and Loyalty” from the Alma Mater. I wish the program the best of luck in carrying on the academic and athletic excellence that have been a hallmark of this university for decades.

Closing Statement...for now

Statement for Today:

After talking with Coach Bill O’Brien we have reached the conclusion that I will not be a part of the Penn State football staff moving forward.

I will spend the next few weeks consulting with my wife and family to weigh various future options both inside and outside of football.

I thank the student-athletes that I’ve been privileged to coach over the past two decades at four schools. Hopefully my career has had an impact and helped you learn about life, and about the commitment and passion it takes to pursue personal excellence.

As for Penn Staters, I cannot even begin to express what your support has meant to me and my family over the past seventeen seasons and in particular the past two months. Through the tumult of the past several weeks, it has been your stalwart support combined with life lessons learned from Joe Paterno that has and continue to sustain us.

As a Penn Stater I am reminded of the words “Sing Our Love and Loyalty” from the Alma Mater. I wish the program the best of luck in carrying on the academic and athletic excellence that have been a hallmark of this university for decades.

Your Captions for The Paterno-Bryant Press Conference Photo

Yesterday I Posted this picture and told people they could write their own captions. They did not disappoint.

As expected there were a lot of comments about the cigarette being smoked by Coach Bryant. It was a different time and place. If this was a morning press conference half the people in the room were likely hung over—if it was an evening press conference half the people were probably already loaded.

The most striking thing is how different it was. Coach Bryant smoking, a small podium, at a Howard Johnson’s, no corporate sponsor for the bowl, no corporate logos behind the podium…all very much in the Pre-B.C.S. days.

Who says the good old days weren’t so good?

Without further comment on my part here are the best of the best—concluding with one final best overall comment which sums it all up at the end. Enjoy!

Comments on Coach Bryant smoking a cigarette:

Coachkc53 Kc coach

Best part of this picture is the coach sitting smoking a heater!!! What a different time!

MikelSevere Mike'l Severe

screw this speech, I'm getting baked.

thejuiceisgood thejuiceisgood

Joe's speech was so good The Bear needed a cigarette.

ihs107 Ira Smukler

@JayPaterno - is bear bryant smoking a joint?

Kennedy_A Kennedy Anderson

Smoking cigarettes at a PC = epic.

---Editor’s Note: as far as we know there is nothing in the historical record to suggest that Coach Bryant was in fact smoking anything other than a completely legal Chesterfield tobacco cigarette.

Comments on the Press Conference being at Howard Johnson’s:

TideGP Tide

Wow--I remember when Howard Johnson's was a big deal.

emerkow Eric Merkow

- The Downtown Howard Johnson's? Were the uptown and midtown HoJo's booked up?

Comments on the Two Guys Coaching:

IfBearWasLiving Today's Bear Bryant

Your Dad & I were swag before most knew what swag was.

FakeScarbinsky Scarbinsky

- Two Legends. Coach Paterno's pants match Coach Bryant's hats.

maddenry Ryan Madden

Those were the days, a young Joe Paterno in plaid pants he probably still owns, and Bear Bryant smoking!

ParrishWalton Parrish Walton

This is fantastic (h/t @JayPaterno). Bear was 4 bourbon's deep and already had his mind made up that he won the title.

krisbradley Kris Bradley

"hey Bear, you may not know this yet, but I am going to be coaching in the year 2011 and I am not kidding."

--Editor’s note: Both Coach’s were credited as the co-inventors of Swag. Bryant invented Southern Swag and Joe Paterno invented Brooklyn Swag. As for the plaid pants Joe probably does still own them.

Comments on Joe’s Plaid Pants:

Toconnell23 Tim O'Connell

- Coach Paterno strikes a confident pose thanks to a conveniently placed podium blocking his pants.

beerisgoodfood Dan

Joe inspires the Zubaz craze

mstewart39 Mike Stewart

"Which is more offensive? Mr. Bryant smoking during this press conference, or my plaid pants?"

jrehm23 Jeff Rehm

much like myself, these pants are timeless.

--Editor’s Note: I believe that Bobby Knight has a blazer to match those pants…..

Comments on Joe:

njdalal Nirav Dalal

Caption: I feel good; I can see myself staying in this for another 4 years as long as I stay healthy.

Alburicks1fan John J.

caption: when asked how much longer Joe is going to coach: "well I plan on coaching for another 3 or 4 more years"

--Editor’s Note: I believe he said I plan on coaching another 30 or 40 years

Best Overall Comment:

capnken Cap'n Ken

Too much awesome in this photo to fully absorb.

--Editor’s Note: That about sums it all up—just too much awesome to fully absorb.

Four Weeks From Today

Four weeks from today our 2009 season—the 123rd Season of Penn State Football will kick off when we take on Akron at noon. Remarkably, for the 60th time, Joe Paterno will be on the Penn State coaching staff for a season opener.

In 1950, Joe’s first season on the staff, Penn State opened at home with a 34-14 win over Georgetown in front of 16,617 fans. In four weeks over 107,000 fans will be in the nation’s largest stadium to be a part of the Greatest Show in College Football—how times have changed.

Joe once said “Contrasting what we had then to what we have now is like comparing the horse and buggy with going to the moon.”

Everyone has a part to play in the Great Show that is Penn State Football and I want to share with you what goes the morning of a game. There is a regimented schedule, a routine to keep the players focused on that day’s game—with a minimum of distractions.

That is one of the reasons we take the team to Toftrees the night before the game—to give them some peace and quiet the night before the game. As you can imagine, campus is a pretty lively, and loud, place the night before a game—not exactly the ideal setting for getting some sleep.

When they wake up on Saturday they are locked into a routine that takes them right up to kickoff.

Here is a typical schedule for a noon kickoff--one we'll likely follow four weeks from today.

7:00 Taping
8:00 Church Services
8:30 Pre-Game Meal
9:20 Depart Toftrees for Lasch Building
9:30 Arrive Lasch Building
10:30 Depart Lasch Building
10:35 Arrive Beaver Stadium

While all that is going on—our fans will be busy tailgating and having a great time anticipating a Penn State win.

http://gopsf.com/video/watch/122/Gameday%20Rituals

The highlight of the pre-game experience is without a doubt the bus ride to the Stadium. Any player will tell you that—it is an unforgettable moment. That moment is even more special for the starting quarterback who rides in the front left seat of Bus 1 on the way to the stadium.

When we pull up to the stadium, the starting quarterback gets the nod from Joe Paterno—who sits in the front right seat—and the starting QB is the first one off the bus. Each week thousands of fans show up for the arrival of the buses. If you’ve never seen it, get there. It is an electric moment.

http://gopsf.com/video/watch/5/Stadium%20Experience

With practice starting Monday, we have a lot of work to do. It has been a productive off season—one fueled by Joe Paterno and his drive to make sure we have a great year. He has been on top of all the things we do defensively, offensively and on special teams.

He has challenged himself, and all of us to be even better than we were last year. In four weeks we get to see what we’re all about as a team in 2009.

To Honor and Serve

Rick Slater with me at the Golf Outing--Rick is on the right.

Saturday was the 3rd Annual Penn State Football Letterman’s Golf Outing and 128 former Penn State Football players took part. Student-Athletes from teams in the 1950s all the way through the current decade gathered for golf, but more importantly to catch up with former teammates and to meet other people who share a proud tradition.

Gathered were people who have gone on to do different things with their lives, some as doctors, others working on wall street, others as teachers, others coaching, and others as lawyers—just to name a few.

It was great to catch up with so many great people. Former teammate Bill Spoor was a walk-on who earned a scholarship while playing at Penn State. He works at Goldman Sachs, but that is only part of his story. He has since endowed a full scholarship at Penn State so that “he can pay back what Joe Paterno gave me”.

But there is still more to his story. He and his wife are heading back to Africa where he is hoping to buy some land, establish a school and help young people to come to American Universities. His goal is for them, once they graduate, to go back and be the inspiration for others to do the same.

The young people who get those types of educations will be the people who change the course of history. He hopes to raise $10 million from foundations to get it done—and anyone who knows Bill does not doubt for a minute that he’ll make it happen.

But there is more…..

At the dinner following the Penn State Football Letterman’s Golf Outing, Justin Kurpeikis got up to introduce a very special former Penn State Nittany Lion. It would turn out to be a moment that none of us there will ever forget.

He introduced one of his teammates—Rick Slater. Most Penn State fans will not recall his name, number or what position he played—but they should know his name for what he’s done since college.

Rick’s path to becoming a Penn State Football student-athlete was an unconventional one. He graduated from high school in Flint, Michigan in 1988. Before coming to Penn State, he served 8 years in the military, primarily as a Navy Seal. He enrolled at Penn State in 1997 and decided to try and walk-on to the football team—at the tender age of 28 years old.

He made the team, and although he didn’t see a lot of game action he made lasting impression on all of us. He became a great influence on a lot for younger players who looked up to him once they knew this “old” guy’s story.

When I’d walk through the locker room, Lavar Arrington, Brandon Short, Justin Kurpeikis and other guys who were big-time players for us would be gathered around his locker listening to him tell stories. I remember hearing one about a monkey in Panama who refused to get out of Rick’s jeep.

In the summer work-outs the toughest part of the running is the phase when our guys finish by running twelve 300 yard sprints. To accommodate the team they used to have three running groups, one at 6 a.m., one at 7 a.m. and one at 8 a.m. Rick would show up at 6 a.m. and make all the times for the 300 yard sprints. Then he’d stick around and do it again and again—passing the times for ALL thirty-six 300 yard sprints.

Through that, he earned the respect of his teammates, but also in so many other ways.

He became the oldest college football player in the country during the 1999 season when he started camp as a 30-year old junior.

In his senior year an injury ended his football career, but he went out for the boxing team. All he did was go out and win the National Championship in his weight class.

As Justin Kurpeikis introduced him, he explained that after college Rick was going on with his life until September 11, 2001. The terrorist attacks on this country changed the course of Rick’s life. Rick knew what he had to do—he re-enlisted as a Navy Seal.

By the time he stood up to speak to the group assembled last night, he had completed a total of 5 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and will be heading back again. But even those facts aren’t what hit us all.

It was what Rick said to all of us.

“The fact that we all played for Penn State and for Joe Paterno, in my mind, makes us all brothers. My time on this team is among the most meaningful things I’ve ever done in my life. We are all better men for having played for Joe Paterno and these coaches.”

Then he pointed to the belt he was wearing, and we all recognized it as a belt you would wear in your football pants.

“This belt I’m wearing, is the belt I wore in my football pants on Saturdays at Penn State. I wear it today, but this belt has also been with me ever since I left here. It’s been with me when I jumped out of airplanes at 25,000 feet on oxygen at night, it has been on all my missions. I wear it for all the guys who played at Penn State—all the guys who played before me and all the guys who will play after me.”

Needless to say it was completely silent as he spoke those words. It was a recognition that we are all part of something special, something that will always be a part of us—no matter what we do or where we go. It was the recognition that here was an example of someone who even in the midst of war, has a part of Penn State Football and what he learned here with him.

Most important it was a reminder to us all that while we live our lives in this country—lives of relative safety and enormous freedoms, there are still those putting it all on the line for us every day.

The words that Rick Slater spoke will stay with me for a long, long time. They are words I will surely share with the young men I get to coach this fall, and every fall I coach here at Penn State.

The last stanza we sing of the Penn State Alma Mater contains the words:

“May no act of ours bring shame, to one heart that loves they name. May our lives but swell thy fame dear Old State, dear Old State.”

You may not know his name, but his actions as a soldier for this country have swelled the fame of Penn State. He has certainly made me proud, and all of his brothers who played here before him, with him and after him are honored to count him among our legions.